


43 Days

by kickthemorgan



Category: t@gged
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Drugs, trevor is sad and has shitty friends :/, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 09:40:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19354399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickthemorgan/pseuds/kickthemorgan
Summary: Trevor Askill had been sober for 43 days. Had.





	43 Days

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!!trigger warnings: underage drinking, mention of attempted suicide

43 days. Trevor Askill had been sober for 43 days. _had_.

If there’s anything Trevor has learned on his road to recovery is that there’s lots of bumps, and sometimes, the smallest bump could cause the biggest crash.

He was finally happy, he didn’t feel bad about himself anymore and was able to control himself, that was until the day he woke up and just felt like complete shit. He didn’t know why, it was the first time in a month and he wanted nothing more for the feeling to just go away immediately. He didn’t want to get out his bed, or eat, or talk to anyone. He just wanted to stay in bed all day, doing nothing..

It’s been 43 days since he felt that way.

“Trevor?” a voice appeared from behind the bathroom door, Trevor looked away from the mirror, “Yes?” he answered, his voice straining, weak and tired. “We’re leaving, come say bye.” His dad said, Trevor listened to it his footsteps fade, he looked back at himself in the mirror, the bags under his eyes were noticeable and his skin was so pale, like he had just seen a ghost or something. He rubbed his eyes and sighed, he didn’t want to talk to anyone.

He stepped into the kitchen, Rowan sat at the table and his dad and step mom waited for him, “Bye, kiddo. Don’t destroy the house while we’re gone.” his dad smiled at him and gave him a pat on the back, Trevor weakly smiled. When Rowan’s mom looked at him, her smile turned to a frown real quick, she placed her hand on his forehead, “Are you feeling okay, sweetheart?” she asked, checking for a fever, “You look so pale and exhausted, we can always go on the trip another day.”

Trevor wasn’t okay. He wasn’t okay at all but he didn’t want to ruin his parents trip, they deserve to have a break. He wasn’t gonna ruin that, he didn’t care how shitty he felt.

He lightly pushed away her hand and forced out a chuckle, “I’m fine, just tired.” She gave him an odd look, like ‘I know something is wrong but you don’t have to tell me unless you’re ready’ look. “I promise.”

“Okay well, we love you two and we’ll see you guys in a few weeks.” She kissed the two of him on the forehead then left out the door with his dad. Trevor went to sit with Rowan, only getting distracted by his dad’s alcohol cart, he had to fight the urge to not just grab a bottle of vodka and chug it to feel numb.

It’s been 43 days since he even looked at it.

He let out a deep breath and forced his eyes away from it, plopping down in the chair next to Rowan. He could feel her studying his face, it made him feel uneasy and insecure so he caught her eyes, “Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked, concern filled her tone, “Yeah, i just- i just stayed up too late last night.” Trevor lied.

Ever since Trevor attempted suicide, Rowan has been on the lookout for any signs that he was hurting again. It annoyed him, he hated when she asked questions like “are you okay?” or “what’s wrong?” and she knew that but he knows she’s just looking out for him.

Rowan placed her hands on the table in front of her, “I have some good news,”

Trevor looked at her, he could really use good news right now. “And what would that be?” He asked, “Brandon is coming down to visit.”

‘ _fucking great_ ’ Trevor thought.

“That’s great!” He plastered a fake smile on his face. He won’t lie, he still has a crush on Brandon. It’s been 4 months since Brandon left for boarding school and Trevor still has a crush on him, he felt absolutely pathetic and Brandon just picked the perfect fucking time to visit, didnt he?

“Yeah, he’ll be here tomorrow morning!” Rowan cheered. She was excited, it’s only been 4 months but it felt like 4 years since she seen Brandon. They broke things off before he left, neither of them were really fans of the whole long distance thing but they’re still good friends.

“Anyways, i promised Elisia i’d go see a movie with her, you gonna be okay?” Rowan stood up from the chair, Trevor mentally rolled his eyes, “I’ll be fine, have fun.” He smiled, she smiled back then left him alone. Once he knew she was gone he let his head rest on his arms, he groaned.

Everything hurt so bad, he just wanted to feel better. He glanced over at his dads drinks and everything he felt just a month ago came back to him.

The feeling of being worthless, scared, alone, and angry. It all came flowing back at once, it was so fast and Trevor has never felt more pain in his life. He quickly stood up, tears threatening to leave his eyes. He snatched a bottle of half empty vodka and rushed to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He no longer had self control.

He slid down his door and flipped the cap off, taking a breath before chugging the rest of the vodka down. He hasn’t had a drink in a month, his throat stung, it didn’t go down as easy as before.

He threw the bottle to the side and curled into a ball on his floor. He felt numb, which meant he felt anything but pain. He was happy. He managed to push himself off the floor, holding to the wall for support. He shuffled over to his bed and fell back on it. He knew he needed to cry, he needed to do something else that made him feel at ease but he wasn’t in the mood to get back, thank god.

Trevor expected to wake up and see Brandon Darrow at his kitchen table with Rowan, laughing away. What he didn’t expect was to wake up at 4am to Brandon Darrow knocking on his window, absolutely soaked from the rain pouring outside.

Trevor sat up, a little too fast, causing his head to pound. He wasn’t completely sober but the numb feeling was definitely fading. He quickly got out of his bed and opened the window, “Brandon? What the fuck?” He whispered, stepping aside to let Brandon in. “Wow, nice to see you too, Trev.” Brandon chuckled, water dripped from his hair.

Trevor ignored him and got him a towel. “What are you doing here at four in the morning?” Trevor asked, leaning back on his wall, “Well, turns out that my bus ride wasn’t as long as i thought it would be and i’m little five hours too early.” Brandon smiled and wrapped the towel around himself, “Sorry that i woke you up,”

“No, it’s fine.” Trevor grinned, “It’s good to see you again. How’s boarding school?”

“I think what matters most is, how are you doing?” Brandon changed the subject, genuinely concerned about his best friend he hasn’t seen in 4 months that didn’t jump to hug him or tell him how much he missed him.

Trevor never really liked lying to Brandon, but when it comes to something like this then he had no choice to. “I’m uh, im doing good,” Trevor nodded, “What about you?” Brandon nodded aswell, “I’m doing good too. I’ve missed you guys, a lot.” Brandon sat his hand on Trevor’s shoulder and Trevor got the same feeling he would get when Brandon laughed at his joke or smiled at him and Trevor knew he was screwed.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading, there WILL be a second chapter only bc i felt this one was very long. just be patient :)


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